River: I get confused. I remember everything. I remember too much. And… some of it’s made up, and… some of it can’t be quantified, and… there’s secrets, and …
Simon: It’s okay.
River: But I understand. You gave up everything you had to find me. You found me broken. It’s hard for you. You gave up everything you had.
Simon: Mei-mei. Everything I have is right here.
Saffron: Leave me at the nearest port. Never look upon me again. I’ll make my way with the strength that you’ve taught me. Only let me have my wedding night.
Mal: Oh, I’m gonna go to the special hell.
Mal: So, that’s where the little “Jayne Day Celebration” we got planned comes in. Should give us enough time to get the goods back onto Serenity.
Jayne: I don’t know. You think we should be using my fame to hoodwink folks?
Mal: You better laugh when you say that.
Jayne: No really, Mal, I mean, maybe there’s something to this. The Mudders? I think I really made a difference in their lives. You know — me, Jayne Cobb.
Mal: I know your name, jackass!
Captain: You woulda done the same.
Mal: We can already see I haven’t.
Jayne: Smellin’ a lot of “if” comin’ off this plan.
Mal: Can’t get paid if you’re dead.
Jayne: Can’t get paid if you crawl away like a bitty little bug neither. I got a share of this job! Ten percent of nothin’ is – let me do the math here – nothin’ into nothin’, carry the…
Mal: Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character, so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.
Sheriff: It’s funny your uncle never went to mentioning the Bowden’s problem. Or that Joey Bloggs ate his own gun, about eight months back.
Mal: Did he?
Sheriff: Yep. Blew the back of his head right off.
Mal: So… would his job be open?
Mal: Mercy is the mark of a great man. (He lightly stabs Atherton) Guess I’m just a good man. (He stabs him again) Well, I’m all right.
Simon: It’s been a big day, what with the abduction, and all.
Saffron: Do you know the myth of Earth-That-Was?
Wash: Not so much.
Saffron: That when she was born, she had no sky, and was open, inviting. And the stars would rush into her, through the skin of her…
Saffron: …making the oceans boil with sensation. And when she could endure no more ecstasy, she puffed up her cheeks and blew out the sky.
Wash: Whoa. Good myth.
Jayne: (singing) “The hero of Canton, the man they call ‘me’.”
Salesman: Tell you what. You buy this ship – treat her proper – she’ll be with you for the rest of your life.
Mal: I hear y’all took up arms in that little piece o’ action back there. How’re you faring with that, Doctor?
Simon: I don’t know. I, I never, never shot anyone before.
Book: I was there, son. I’m fair sure you haven’t shot anyone yet.
Jayne: I didn’t sign onto this crew ta take in the sights. We need coin!
Mal: Jayne! Your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.
Book: I’ve been out of the abbey two days, I’ve beaten a lawman senseless, I’ve fallen in with criminals. I watched the captain shoot the man I swore to protect. And I’m not even sure if I think he was wrong.
Jayne: You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with ’til you understand who’s in ruttin’ command here.
Sir Warrick: You didn’t have to wound that man.
Mal: Yeah, I know. It was just funny.
Gabriel Tam: Have you completely lost your mind?
Simon: Pretty nearly.
Gabriel Tam: We got the wave at the Friedlichs. I had to leave your mother at the dinner table!
Simon: I’m sorry, Dad. You know I would never have tried to save River’s life if I had known there was a dinner party at risk!
Wash: I wish I was somebody else right now, somebody not… married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinky.
Mal: Let’s go get our wayward babes.
River: He looks better in red.
Mal: Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone’s carryin’ a bullet for you right now, doesn’t even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you.
Mal: Been a long time since Patience shot me, and that was due to a perfectly legitimate conflict of interest. I got no grudge.
Mal: How come you didn’t turn on me, Jayne?
Jayne: Money wasn’t good enough.
Mal: What happens when it is?
Jayne: Well, that’ll be an interesting day.