Phoebe: We can be guys! Come on, let us be guys!
Chandler: You don’t want to be guys, you’d be all hairy and you wouldn’t live as long.

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Phoebe: See, he’s her lobster!

Chandler: Well, my apartment’s not there anymore because I drank it.

Chandler: Handle’s my middle name. Well, actually, it’s the middle part of my first name.

Chandler: It’s like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare, and then charged me $32 to see it!

Chandler: Ok, lets focus something else. Beautiful eyes, nice nose, great smile, BIG HEAD BIG HEAD BIG HEAD!!!