Joey: Hi, here’s the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It’s white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh yeah, and there was a baby in it.

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Joey: Ross, if homo sapiens actually were HOMO sapiens, is that why they’re extinct?
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are people!
Joey: Hey, I’m not judging!

Chandler: Well, my apartment’s not there anymore because I drank it.

Phoebe: See, he’s her lobster!

Chandler: It’s like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare, and then charged me $32 to see it!

Chandler: Ok, lets focus something else. Beautiful eyes, nice nose, great smile, BIG HEAD BIG HEAD BIG HEAD!!!