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More from Friends

Ross: You’re over me? When were you, under me?

Chandler: He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite–
Ross: what?
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That’s how they do pants. First they go up one side, they move it over, they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn’t that how they measure pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison!

Chandler: My sperm have low motility and you have an inhospitable environment.
Monica: What does that mean?
Chandler: It means that my boys are too lazy to get off their Barca-Loungers, and your uterus is prepared to kill the ones who do.

Rachel: Oh honey, please, no, I can’t get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean he’s going to be screwed up for a long time. And besides, you know, I don’t go for guys right after they get divorced.
Monica: Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married.

Joey: Hi, here’s the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It’s white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh yeah, and there was a baby in it.