Chandler: We have to assign heads to something.
Joey: Oh, right. Okay, ducks is heads because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary ass clowns came to your birthday party?

The One with the Baby on the Bus

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Rachel: Oh honey, please, no, I can’t get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean he’s going to be screwed up for a long time. And besides, you know, I don’t go for guys right after they get divorced.
Monica: Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married.

Joey: Hi, here’s the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It’s white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh yeah, and there was a baby in it.

Joey: Uh, look, Kay, listen, we need to talk, okay? Um, look, I like you – I really do. I like – I like you a lot, okay, but sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that, it feels like someone is hitting me with a very tiny, but very real, bat.

The One with the Girl Who Hits Joey

Chandler: Is this the episode of Three’s Company where there’s a misunderstanding?

Chandler: All right, let’s get some perspective here, ok? These things, they happen for a reason.
Monica: Yeah. You!
Chandler: All right, Pheebs, back me up here, ok? You believe in that karma crap, don’t you?
Phoebe: Yeah, by the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.