Chandler: We have to assign heads to something.
Joey: Oh, right. Okay, ducks is heads because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary ass clowns came to your birthday party?

The One with the Baby on the Bus

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Ross: Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her?
Chandler: Well, I’m guessing he wants to do a little dance… ya know, make a little love… Well, pretty much get down tonight.

Rachel: You know who doesn’t even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend, Joshua.
Joey: Yeah, right.
Rachel: No, he told me. He prefers to leave certain things to the imagination.
Chandler: Oh, oh, yeah, and did he also say that some of the dialog is corny, and that he actually found it was funny, not sexy?
Rachel: Yes!
Joey: Yeah, he likes porn.

Monica: Oh my god. How cute is the new eye doctor?
Rachel: So cute I’m thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.

Monica: Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
Chandler: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?

The One With The Prom Video

Rachel: Guess what, guess what!
Chandler: The fifth dentist finally caved and now they all recommend Trident?