Chandler: We have to assign heads to something.
Joey: Oh, right. Okay, ducks is heads because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary ass clowns came to your birthday party?

The One with the Baby on the Bus

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Ross: Look, Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Chandler: Wax the door shut, we’re never leaving, ever.

Ross: I don’t know what I’m gonna do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare!
Chandler: Oh, I know, this must be so hard. “Oh no, two women love me! They’re both gorgeous and sexy! My wallet’s too small for my fifties and my diamond shoes are too tight!”

Joey: Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie! Oh mommie, oh daddie, I am a big old baddie!
Ross: I guess he musta gotten the part in that play.
Monica and Phoebe: Oh.
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.

The One With The Lousy T-Shirt

Ross: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don’t let you do it.

Rachel: Who’s FICA? And why does he get all my money?