Mary Richards: Oh Rhoda, chocolate doesn’t solve anything.
Rhoda Morgenstern: No Mare, cottage cheese solves nothing; chocolate can do it all!
Rhoda Morgenstern: I don’t know why I should even bother to eat this. I should just apply it directly to my hips.
Rhoda Morgenstern: It’s a magnifying mirror! Mary, why didn’t you warn me? I thought it was a relief map of the moon. When they sell those magnifying mirrors they should include a printed suicide note.
Phyllis Lindstrom: I just thought I’d see what you swingin’ singles do for fun.
Rhoda Morgenstern: Same as you – sit around and wonder what it would be like to have a happy marriage.
Sue Ann Nivens: I was lying in bed last night and I couldn’t sleep, and I came up with an idea. So I went right home and wrote it down.
Mary Richards: I’m an experienced woman. I’ve been around. Well, all right, I might not’ve been around, but I’ve been…nearby.
Lou Grant: Mary, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but you’re a jerk.
Mary Richards: How could I possibly take that wrong?