Jay: Manny thinks his dad is like Superman. The truth? He’s a total flake. In fact, the only way he’s like Superman is that they both landed in this country illegally.

The Bicycle Thief (season 1, episode 2)

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Hank: Okay, people, looks like we have a walker. Right now he is facing treacherous terrain, sudden drops, mountain lions, hungry bears… oh, and wolverines. That is if the hypothermia didn’t already get him.
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Hank: You two are gonna take to the north hiking trail.
Haley Dunphy: Can I go with my dad instead?
Hank: Negative. I need Buffalo Phil and old-timer to check the Snake River.
Phil Dunphy: “Buffalo Phil”. Worth the wait.

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