Phil: Hey, come in. You’re just in time to catch the end of the game. Come on, I’ll catch you up. OK, so that guy is the tying run – interesting story about him: he’s been stuck on second base forever, and I’m pretty sure he’s gonna try and steal third, which is just a terrible, terrible idea – how are you and Haley doing?

Come Fly With Me (season 1, episode 3)
tagged: dating, parenting

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Phil: I’m the cool dad. That’s my thing. I’m hip. I surf the Web. I text. LOL: laughing out loud. OMG: Oh my God. WTF: Why the face?

Pilot (season 1, episode 1)

Claire: Your kids don’t need to know who you were before you had them. They need to know who you wish you were, and they need to try to live up to that person. They’re gonna fall short, but better they fall short of the fake you than the real you.
Phil: Which is why we don’t hide anything.
Claire: That is the opposite of what I just said.
Phil: I was not listening.