Phil: Um, things I want: robot dog, night vision goggles, bug vacuum, GPS watch, speakers that look like rocks… I love my wife, but she sucks at giving gifts. I’m sorry for the pay-channel language, but- oh! Yogurt maker! I can’t not think of things I want.

Great Expectations (season 1, episode 8)
tagged: desire, presents

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Phil: I’m the cool dad. That’s my thing. I’m hip. I surf the Web. I text. LOL: laughing out loud. OMG: Oh my God. WTF: Why the face?

Pilot (season 1, episode 1)

Claire: Your kids don’t need to know who you were before you had them. They need to know who you wish you were, and they need to try to live up to that person. They’re gonna fall short, but better they fall short of the fake you than the real you.
Phil: Which is why we don’t hide anything.
Claire: That is the opposite of what I just said.
Phil: I was not listening.