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Jay Pritchett: Usually, I say no to drugs, but I thought, just this once… and I figured, if I was going to make an ass of myself, at least I wouldn’t remember it.

Mitchell Pritchett: That drug I gave him? Baby aspirin, orange flavored. He could have chewed it.

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Phil Dunphy: What’cha got there?
Claire Dunphy: These are supplies for the crafts table. I finally figured out what we’re gonna be making.
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