Haley: Her hand’s in the air, like, every five seconds, and she actually reminded Mr. Waters to assign homework. The class loved that. Do you know how embarrassed I was?
Alex: Not as embarrassed as I was when she said eight was a prime number.

Phil on Wire (season 3, episode 3)

Share with your friends

More from Modern Family

Claire: Our son is not weird. What’s weird is that her kid wears aftershave and dresses like a count.

Coal Digger (season 1, episode 5)

Phil: Act like a parent, talk like a peer. I call it peerenting. I learned it from my own dad who used to walk into my room and say, “What’s up sweat-hog?”

The Incident (season 1, episode 4)

Phil: I think concerts are rad. Hello, I was a hall-raiser!
Haley: A what?
Phil: I followed Hall & Oates around the country one summer. “Rich Girl” just spoke to me; I was dating this girl – not dating, I guess I was following her too, kind of.

The Incident (season 1, episode 4)

Cameron: Mitchell’s mother has a problem with me. Last Christmas, for example, she gave me a piece of exercise equipment and a lettuce dryer. So to recap, I gave her a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings, and she gave me a hint.

The Incident (season 1, episode 4)

Gloria: I always wanted a daughter: to dress her up in pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everyone that he was my daughter. But just for a few times, I didn’t want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.

Come Fly With Me (season 1, episode 3)