Dave: Bill, haven’t you ever heard the expression, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade?”
Bill: Dave, haven’t you ever heard the expression, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for?”

tagged: adversity

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Jimmy: Thanks, Bill.
Bill: Thanks for what, Jim? Thanks for being man enough to bear up to the curse of my overpowering machismo?
Jimmy: Yeah. Thanks for that.
Bill: You’re welcome, my friend. You are welcome.

Jimmy: If I believed in fairy tales I never would have dropped out of kindergarten.

Lisa: If everyone thought you should jump off a bridge, would you?
Dave: If everyone around here thought I should jump off a bridge, they’d probably just get together and push me.

Matthew: Believe me, I have seen my dark side, and it is yucky.

Dave: Hey Bill, I’m your friend.
Bill: Oh yeah? Where were you last night at 3 A.M. when I was watching Steel Magnolias and crying my eyes out?