Lisa: If everyone thought you should jump off a bridge, would you?
Dave: If everyone around here thought I should jump off a bridge, they’d probably just get together and push me.

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Jimmy: I wanted a house just like Xanadu, but without a dorky name.
Lisa: So what did you call it?
Jimmy: Fort Awesome.

Lisa: I want to have a baby. Immediately.
Dave: And I want to get married, at some unspecified time in the near future.

Bill: The eyes are the windows to the skull.
Dave: “Soul”.
Bill: For those who have one, yes.

Bill: You do realize by ‘gay’ I mean a man who has sex with other men?

Jimmy: Just remember, Dave, let it out…
Dave: Or sweat it out. Yes, I know, sir. I just love advice that rhymes.