Lisa: Just because you end a relationship with somebody doesn’t mean you cut them out of your life.
Dave: Oh really? Isn’t that actually the definition of ending a relationship?

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Dave: Wait a minute, Joe. If what you’re saying is true, then… I still don’t care.

Joe: You can’t take something off the Internet. It’s like taking pee out of a swimming pool.

Bill: Dave, there comes a time in every friendship when you have to say, “I never liked you, get lost.”

Bill: You know what it’s like? It’s like taking your daughter to the fair and buying her cotton candy and winning prizes for her and then you get on the Ferris wheel and she wants to make out.
Lisa: Ok…
Bill: Well how could she do that to me, Lisa? How could she… french her daddy?

Bill: In the future, it might help if you located the source of your rage before you unleashed it on the world.