Jimmy: James James, the man so nice they named him twice.

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Bill: Dave, there comes a time in every friendship when you have to say, “I never liked you, get lost.”

Bill: You know what it’s like? It’s like taking your daughter to the fair and buying her cotton candy and winning prizes for her and then you get on the Ferris wheel and she wants to make out.
Lisa: Ok…
Bill: Well how could she do that to me, Lisa? How could she… french her daddy?

Dave Nelson: Look, it’s only a birthday present! It just means I’m glad you didn’t die partway through the year.

Bill: In the future, it might help if you located the source of your rage before you unleashed it on the world.

Jimmy: You poor misguided Canadian bastard.