Melanie: The thing about parenthood is that you don’t get anonymus sex breaks twice a day.
Justin: This isn’t about me… or even what happened at school. This is about speaking out, demanding to be heard whether people want to hear you or not.
Ted: Gay men and straight girls sleeping together… isn’t that one of the signs of the Apocalypse?
The next contestant loves the Powerpuff Girls, margaritas, and older men who take him for granted.
Emmett: If you ask me, nobody makes a better woman than a gay man.
Debbie: I know you’re uncomfortable hanging out in gay bars with your mother. But look at it this way; if you meet somebody nice, you won’t have to take him home to meet me, because I’m already here!
Brian: I’ll be glad when Pride’s over and we can all go back to being ashamed.
Justin: I generally don’t like discussing kink on an empty stomach.
Debbie: It’s not about who you love, it’s how you love. Genitalia is just God’s way of accessorizing.
Daphne: Hi, I’m not a lesbian, but I’m a big fan.
Michael: What’s wrong with here?
Brian: I’ve had everyone in here.
Justin: I’m not a child. I’m turning 18 soon. That means I can vote, and get married, and join the army.
Emmett: Hopefully not on the same day.
Debbie: If I have to watch Martha Stewart make one more goddamn thing out of goat cheese, I’m going to kill myself.
Vic: AMC has a Joan Crawford festival all week.
Debbie: Nobody’s that gay.
Emmett: A song and a snack can turn any moment into an occasion.
Justin: He loves me.
Brian Kinney: Your dreamy-eyed school boy.
Justin: In ways that you can’t.
Brian Kinney: In ways that I won’t.
Melanie: I’d forgotten I was different- until I was so thoughtfully reminded.
Brian: It’s not lying when they make you lie, when the only truth they can deal with is their own.