Brian: It’s not lying when they make you lie, when the only truth they can deal with is their own.

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Michael: What’s wrong with here?
Brian: I’ve had everyone in here.

Justin: I’m not a child. I’m turning 18 soon. That means I can vote, and get married, and join the army.
Emmett: Hopefully not on the same day.

Debbie: If I have to watch Martha Stewart make one more goddamn thing out of goat cheese, I’m going to kill myself.
Vic: AMC has a Joan Crawford festival all week.
Debbie: Nobody’s that gay.

Emmett: A song and a snack can turn any moment into an occasion.

Justin: He loves me.
Brian Kinney: Your dreamy-eyed school boy.
Justin: In ways that you can’t.
Brian Kinney: In ways that I won’t.