Ted: Gay men and straight girls sleeping together… isn’t that one of the signs of the Apocalypse?

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Debbie: I know you’re uncomfortable hanging out in gay bars with your mother. But look at it this way; if you meet somebody nice, you won’t have to take him home to meet me, because I’m already here!

Brian: I’ll be glad when Pride’s over and we can all go back to being ashamed.

Justin: I generally don’t like discussing kink on an empty stomach.

Daphne: Hi, I’m not a lesbian, but I’m a big fan.

Debbie: It’s not about who you love, it’s how you love. Genitalia is just God’s way of accessorizing.