Kristine Kochanski: I don’t know about this. I’ve never been seduced by Predeterminism Theory before.

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Lister: We’re on a mining ship, 3 million years into deep space. Can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?
Cat: Hey, it’s not a good night unless you get a traffic cone! It’s the policewoman’s helmet and the suspenders that I don’t understand!

Kryten: What would you say to a glass of drinking chocolate?
Kochanski: I’d say, “Glass of drinking chocolate, get me out of here!”

Rimmer: So Lister what are you telling us? You’re a closet squirrel? Behind closed doors you parade up and down with a strap-on bushy tail, calling yourself Nutkin?

Rimmer: Look, I think we’ve all got something to bring to this conversation, but I think that from now on what you should bring is silence.

Rimmer: Please rush me my portable walrus polishing kit. Four super brushes to tackle even the trickiest of sea-bound mammals. Yes, I am over 18, although my IQ isn’t.