Share with your friends

{ click the image above to pin it! }

More from Red Dwarf

Lister: Love is what separates us from the animals.
Rimmer: No, Lister, what separates us from animals is that we don’t use our tongues to clean our genitals.

Kryten: I was just idly flicking through an electrical appliance catalogue. I came across the section on super deluxe vacuum cleaners, and suddenly my underpant elastic was catapulted across the Medical Bay.
Lister: You see, man? You’re neither one thing or the other. You shouldn’t be gettin’ erotic thoughts about electrical appliances.
Kryten: Er, it was a triple-bag, easy-glide vac, with turbo-suction and a self-emptying dustbag.
Lister: Kryte, I don’t care what model it was! No vacuum cleaner should give a human being a double polaroid!

Cat: Yeah, it’s awful, man, when a woman screws you up so bad you want to become a squirrel.

Rimmer: We’re not getting out of here in one piece, or if we do, it’ll be one big flat piece.

Lister: We’re on a mining ship, 3 million years into deep space. Can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?
Cat: Hey, it’s not a good night unless you get a traffic cone! It’s the policewoman’s helmet and the suspenders that I don’t understand!