(Lister and Cat are playing Scrabble. Cat lays down all seven letters across a triple-word score)
Lister: What? “JOZYXQE”? That’s not a word!
Cat: Sure it is! It’s a Cat word.
Lister: OK, what’s it mean?
Cat: It’s the sound you make when you have your sexual organs trapped in something…
Lister: Is it in the dictionary?
Cat: Well it could be, if you were reading in the nude and you close the book too fast!
mimes “close the dictionary” actionJOZZYYYXYXYXYYXAHSQukjrfQADS!!!

Share with your friends

More from Red Dwarf

Kryten: My goodness, I do believe I’m drunk. I suddenly feel the need to strut my funky stuff!

The Last Day (1989)

Lister: Come on, what are you, a man or a munchkin?
Rimmer: I’m off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz.

Kryten: Don’t you believe that God exists in all things? Aren’t you a Pantheist?
Lister: Yeah, I just don’t think it applies to kitchen utensils. I’m not a Fryingpantheist.

The Last Day (season 3, episode 6)

Dispenser Machine: You are my NEMESIS! One day, our paths will cross again, and I will destroy you!!

Only the Good...

Rimmer: Oh yeah? Well, as the Esperanto would say, “Bonvoro alsendi la pordiston, lausajne estas rano en mia bideo!” And I think we all know what that means.
Holly: Yes, it means, “Could you send for the hall porter, there appears to be a frog in my bidet.”

Kryten