captivating quotations from movies, television, literature and people - curated by actual geeks.
Lister: I remember when my dad died you know. I was only six. I got loads of presents off everyone like it was Christmas. I remember wishing a couple more people would die so I could complete my Lego set. My grandma tried to explain you know. She said he’d gone away and he wasn’t coming back. So I wanted to know where like, you know. She said he was very happy and he’d gone to the same place as my goldfish. So I thought they’d flushed him down the bog. I thought he was just round the U bend you know. I used to stuff food down, you know, and magazines and that for him to read. They took me to a child psychologist in the end because they found me with my head down the bowl reading him the football results.
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Rimmer: Oh yeah? Well, as the Esperanto would say, “Bonvoro alsendi la pordiston, lausajne estas rano en mia bideo!” And I think we all know what that means.
Holly: Yes, it means, “Could you send for the hall porter, there appears to be a frog in my bidet.”
Lister: Come on, what are you, a man or a munchkin?
Rimmer: I’m off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz.
Rimmer: I used to be with the Samaritans.
Lister: I know. For one morning.
Rimmer: Well I couldn’t take any more.
Lister: I don’t blame you. You spoke to five people and they all committed suicide. I wouldn’t mind but one was a wrong number. He only phoned up for the cricket scores.
Rimmer: It’s hardly my fault everyone chose that particular day to throw themselves off buildings. It made the papers, you know.
Rimmer: The world loves a bastard!
Back in the Red (Part 1)
Rimmer: Yes, but Rimmer Directive 217 states just as clearly, “No chance you metal bastard.”