captivating quotations from movies, television, literature and people - curated by actual geeks.
Lister: I remember when my dad died you know. I was only six. I got loads of presents off everyone like it was Christmas. I remember wishing a couple more people would die so I could complete my Lego set. My grandma tried to explain you know. She said he’d gone away and he wasn’t coming back. So I wanted to know where like, you know. She said he was very happy and he’d gone to the same place as my goldfish. So I thought they’d flushed him down the bog. I thought he was just round the U bend you know. I used to stuff food down, you know, and magazines and that for him to read. They took me to a child psychologist in the end because they found me with my head down the bowl reading him the football results.
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Holly: Rude alert! Rude alert! An electrical fire has knocked out my voice recognition unicycle! Many Wurlitzers are missing from my database! Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil. Repeat: This is not a daffodil!
Rimmer: Well, thankfully Holly’s unaffected.
Kryten: At 0700 hours tomorrow morning my shutdown disc will be activated and all mental and physical operations will cease.
Lister: Then what?
Kryten: I don’t know… maybe I’ll get a job as a disc jockey!
Holly: Engage drive. Drive engaged. Initialise ignition sequence. Ignition sequence initialised.
Rimmer: Get on with it!
Holly: Takes time, this. One slight error in any one of my 13 billion calculations, we’ll all be blown to smithereens. Here we go then. Ten… nine… eight… six… five… four…
Rimmer: You missed number seven!
Holly: Did I? I’ve always had a bit of a blind spot for sevens.
Rimmer: We’re going to die.
Holly: No problem. I’ll start lower down. One, blast off.
Rimmer: I’ve seen Westerns, I know how to speak cowboy. (to bartender) Dry white wine and Perrier please. And what about you two chaps?
Lister: Rimmer, what westerns have you seen? Butch Accountant and the Yuppie Kid?
Rimmer: Look, Lister, no point feeling sorry about Holly. It’s a kindness. Like a blind old incontinent sheepdog, he’s had his day. Take him out to the barn with a double-barreled shot-gun and blow the mother away. And I’m only saying that because I’m so fond of him.