The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. “Uh-oh,” he thought. “This watering hole is reserved for skeletons.”

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

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I want to die in my sleep peacefully like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: “That guy sure owed me a lot of money.”

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

Dad always said that laughter is the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died from tuberculosis.

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey