Seinfeld

Quotations

Jerry: Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it.

Jerry: What percentage of the population do you think is good looking?
Elaine: Like twenty, twenty-five percent.
Jerry: Five percent.
Elaine: How are all these people getting together?
Jerry: Alcohol.

George: I should get to sleep with Elaine. That’s the only way to punish you.
Jerry: That doesn’t punish me. That punishes Elaine.

Elaine: He took it OUT.

Jerry: She had man hands!

Newman: I’m a little offended, Jerry.
Jerry: You’re not a little anything, Newman.

Cosmo Kramer: The bus is outta control. So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel, and now I’m driving the bus.
Jerry: Wow.
George Costanza: You’re Batman.
Cosmo Kramer: Yeah, yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So I’m fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other, ya know. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door, ya know, with my foot, ya know, at the next stop.
Jerry: You kept making all the stops?
Cosmo Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell.

George Costanza: Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.
Jerry: Yeah, they’re the worst.

George: George is getting upset.