Kelso: Hey, Eric, maybe she’s going to give you the big gift. You know, the BIG gift. You guys know what I’m talking about right?
Hyde: Yes, Kelso. We got it. Then, we got it.
Fez: I’m not even from here, and I got it.
Red Forman: You need to grow up and learn some responsibility.
Eric: I love you too, Dad.
Red Forman: What? Stop being weird.
Michael Kelso: If you really do love her, there’s only one thing to do, man. You gotta dump her and live free.
Red Forman: Once again, an open bar spells disaster for the Foreman family.
Michael Kelso: C’mon Eric, we never ask you for anything.
Eric: You guys ask me for everything.
Michael Kelso: So, what’s one more thing?
Donna Pinciotti: I love you, Eric.
Eric: I love… cake.
Fez: Opportunity does not knock, then knock again, then leave a note saying “sorry I missed you”.
Red Forman: Dear Lord, would it kill you to give the Packers a winning season? Oh, and uh, watch over my loving family, blah blah blah…
Kitty Forman: Oh, Red, you do care.
Eric: Donna, it’s just that… if I say it, and then we break up, what would I tell myself?
Donna Pinciotti: You could tell yourself you still have cake, we both know how much it means to you.
Eric: OK, I deserve that.
Red Forman: We’re all gonna go to church and we’re gonna have a damn nice Sunday.
Fez: Wow, my first X-rated movie. I don’t know what’s going on, but that is the luckiest pizza boy ever.
Fez: What’s disco?
Steven Hyde: It’s from Hell. And, not the cool part of hell where all the murderers are either, but the lame-ass part where accountants are from.
Kitty Forman: Why don’t you try some of that forgiveness that Jesus talked so much about so much?
Eric: My head hurts.
Red Forman: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.
Red Forman: I’ve been working since I was sixteen. I fought two in wars. Hell, I’ve killed people. I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy it…
Fez: This suit is for leisure. But many times I wear it to get down to business.
Laurie Forman: Oh, for God’s sake! Eric saw you guys doing it!
Kitty Forman: Oh, honey. You saw your father and I having inter…
Laurie Forman: Oh, well, no wonder you have been acting so strange. Red, say something to the boy.
Red Forman: Oh! Ummm… It’s more fun than it looks.
Red Forman: What have I said about comparing your sister to the Devil?
Eric: That it’s offensive to the Devil?
Red Forman: I like the sound of a beer church.
Michael Kelso: I miss Eric.
Jackie Burkhardt: Well, you still have me.
Michael Kelso: It’s not the same, Jackie. I can talk to Eric about things that I can’t talk about with you.
Jackie Burkhardt: Okay, well like what?
Michael Kelso: Well, for instance, the annoying things you do.
Jackie Burkhardt: Michael.
Michael Kelso: See, I can’t talk to you.
Donna Pinciotti: You have the van. We want to go home.
Michael Kelso: Na-ah! I can’t leave Annette. I love her.
Eric: No, you don’t.
Michael Kelso: I love parts of her.
Eric: You know, Hyde, at first I thought your father was a real dirtbag. But I’ve come to realize that there’s a fine line between dirt bag and Father Of The Year.
Kitty Forman: I can’t believe that any of you can walk into a church without bursting into flames.
Red Forman: Forman, party of two.
Restaurant Hostess: Okey dokey, that’ll be about two hours.
Red Forman: Here’s twenty bucks.
Restaurant Hostess: Okay we’ll have something in fifteen minutes.
Red Forman: You don’t want this place to burn down twice do you?
Restaurant Hostess: Okay we have something right now.
Red Forman: I thought so. Well, it looks like it’s our lucky night.