Red Forman: Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.

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More from That 70's Show

Kitty Forman: Have you ever baked a pie before?
Jackie Burkhardt: No, I don’t really cook much. I kinda was just hoping to get by on my looks.

Eric: What happened between you two?
Fez: Suffice to say that it involved a crowded parking lot, a half off sale and a pair of pants that made my ass look like an oil painting.
Fenton: If you mean old and cracked, I agree.
Fez: I’ll see you in hell!
Fenton: I’ll be wearing your pants!

Eric: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Red Forman: Son, you don’t have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you’re a dumbass.

Thanksgiving (season 1, episode 9)

Fez: These after-school specials are thrilling. Who knew that one beer could turn a cheerleader into a whore?

Kitty Forman: Red’s mother is coming.
Midge Pinciotti: What’s that pet name she has for you?
Kitty Forman: Whore.