Red Forman: Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
captivating quotations from movies, television, literature and people - curated by actual geeks.
Eric: Look, Dad, I need my car. Don’t you remember when you were in high school? I bet you had some good times, driving around senior year with your friends.
Red: My senior year, I was driving a gun boat around Okinawa. And, if you count the Japanese snipers as my friends, then yes, I had some good times.
Jackie Burkhardt: Michael, I told you about Eric so you could help him, not make fun of him.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, but it’s hard to help someone and burn him at the same time.
Kelso: Hi, I’d like an order of books, please.
Brooke: Could you be more specific?
Kelso: Could you be more beautiful?
Brooke: Could you be more lame?
Eric: Kelso, I don’t know if you should come over to dinner tonight.
Michael Kelso: Look, I know you think it’s gonna be uncomfortable because I’m dating Laurie. But, look, Red loves Laurie, and Laurie loves me. Red has to like me. I mean, what kind of father doesn’t love the guy who’s nailing his daughter?
Red: Women are never done with it, son. Anything wrong you do, they sit on it for twenty five years, like an egg. And then it hatches – on Superbowl Sunday.