Fez: You don’t like me because I’m not from here.
Red: This has nothing to do with you being a foreigner. This is about you taking advantage of my daughter like a sneaky foreigner!

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Red Forman: We’re all gonna go to church and we’re gonna have a damn nice Sunday.

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Steven Hyde: It’s from Hell. And, not the cool part of hell where all the murderers are either, but the lame-ass part where accountants are from.

Kitty Forman: Why don’t you try some of that forgiveness that Jesus talked so much about so much?

Eric: My head hurts.
Red Forman: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.