Steven Hyde: Okay. All right. Do you remember that time when I was climbing your fence, and I hit my forehead on that tree branch, and I fell into your yard, and your dog Yogi came out of the house and bit me twice on the ass?
Michael Kelso: Yeah, you bled and you cried.
Steven Hyde: I bled. I didn’t cry.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, you did. You bled and you cried.
Steven Hyde: And you laughed, man. A lot. While I was bleeding… You see my point?
Michael Kelso: Yeah: it’s funny when friends get hurt.
Steven Hyde: Close enough.

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Leo: I love it here. You can sing as loud as you want. That dude wails away on the organ. That dude up there tells stories. It’s almost a religious experience!

Kelso: You have the right to remain BURNED!

Hyde: You don’t burn someone who’s already crying!

Eric: Look, Dad, I need my car. Don’t you remember when you were in high school? I bet you had some good times, driving around senior year with your friends.
Red: My senior year, I was driving a gun boat around Okinawa. And, if you count the Japanese snipers as my friends, then yes, I had some good times.

Jackie Burkhardt: Michael, I told you about Eric so you could help him, not make fun of him.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, but it’s hard to help someone and burn him at the same time.