Kelso: Hey, Eric, maybe she’s going to give you the big gift. You know, the BIG gift. You guys know what I’m talking about right?
Hyde: Yes, Kelso. We got it. Then, we got it.
Fez: I’m not even from here, and I got it.

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Leo: I love it here. You can sing as loud as you want. That dude wails away on the organ. That dude up there tells stories. It’s almost a religious experience!

Kelso: You have the right to remain BURNED!

Hyde: You don’t burn someone who’s already crying!

Eric: Look, Dad, I need my car. Don’t you remember when you were in high school? I bet you had some good times, driving around senior year with your friends.
Red: My senior year, I was driving a gun boat around Okinawa. And, if you count the Japanese snipers as my friends, then yes, I had some good times.

Jackie Burkhardt: Michael, I told you about Eric so you could help him, not make fun of him.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, but it’s hard to help someone and burn him at the same time.