Red Forman: Forman, party of two.
Restaurant Hostess: Okey dokey, that’ll be about two hours.
Red Forman: Here’s twenty bucks.
Restaurant Hostess: Okay we’ll have something in fifteen minutes.
Red Forman: You don’t want this place to burn down twice do you?
Restaurant Hostess: Okay we have something right now.
Red Forman: I thought so. Well, it looks like it’s our lucky night.

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Kelso: You have the right to remain BURNED!

Hyde: You don’t burn someone who’s already crying!

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Red: My senior year, I was driving a gun boat around Okinawa. And, if you count the Japanese snipers as my friends, then yes, I had some good times.

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Michael Kelso: Yeah, but it’s hard to help someone and burn him at the same time.

Kelso: Hi, I’d like an order of books, please.
Brooke: Could you be more specific?
Kelso: Could you be more beautiful?
Brooke: Could you be more lame?
Kelso: Yes.