Michael Kelso: Guess who made out with Pam Macey behind the gym!
Steven Hyde: Anyone with a quarter?
Michael Kelso: Me!
Fez: Damn, and I had a quarter!

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Steven Hyde: Okay. All right. Do you remember that time when I was climbing your fence, and I hit my forehead on that tree branch, and I fell into your yard, and your dog Yogi came out of the house and bit me twice on the ass?
Michael Kelso: Yeah, you bled and you cried.
Steven Hyde: I bled. I didn’t cry.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, you did. You bled and you cried.
Steven Hyde: And you laughed, man. A lot. While I was bleeding… You see my point?
Michael Kelso: Yeah: it’s funny when friends get hurt.
Steven Hyde: Close enough.

Red Forman: You need to grow up and learn some responsibility.
Eric: I love you too, Dad.
Red Forman: What? Stop being weird.
Eric: Thanks.

Michael Kelso: If you really do love her, there’s only one thing to do, man. You gotta dump her and live free.

Red Forman: Once again, an open bar spells disaster for the Foreman family.

Kelso: Hey, Eric, maybe she’s going to give you the big gift. You know, the BIG gift. You guys know what I’m talking about right?
Hyde: Yes, Kelso. We got it. Then, we got it.
Fez: I’m not even from here, and I got it.