Michael Kelso: Ooooh! Burn! That’s a burn about a burn! That’s a 2nd degree burn!

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Red Forman: When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But if you mix them, they can turn you into a dumbass.

Red Forman: Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.

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Steven Hyde: That was like, eight burns in one sentence.
Donna Pinciotti: An octo-burn. Let’s get outta here!

Donna Pinciotti: Jackie, I went on the pill.
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Eric: She was drunk, in the middle of the afternoon. I mean, it was like Sue Ellen on ‘Dallas’.