Michael Kelso: Ooooh! Burn! That’s a burn about a burn! That’s a 2nd degree burn!

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Eric: She was drunk, in the middle of the afternoon. I mean, it was like Sue Ellen on ‘Dallas’.

Red Forman: What are you going to put on your resume – dumbass?

Michael Kelso: Guess who made out with Pam Macey behind the gym!
Steven Hyde: Anyone with a quarter?
Michael Kelso: Me!
Fez: Damn, and I had a quarter!

Kitty Forman: Oh, my god. I married the Grinch. I’m Mrs. Grinch!

Red: Nothing around this house is cheap.
Eric: Except for Laurie.
Laurie Forman: I am not cheap!
Eric: Free, whatever.