Kitty Forman: Why don’t you try some of that forgiveness that Jesus talked so much about so much?

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Kitty Forman: Red’s mother is coming.
Midge Pinciotti: What’s that pet name she has for you?
Kitty Forman: Whore.

Eric: What happened between you two?
Fez: Suffice to say that it involved a crowded parking lot, a half off sale and a pair of pants that made my ass look like an oil painting.
Fenton: If you mean old and cracked, I agree.
Fez: I’ll see you in hell!
Fenton: I’ll be wearing your pants!

Kitty Forman: Sex, it’s not dirty.
Red Forman: It’s not clean either.

Red Forman: When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But if you mix them, they can turn you into a dumbass.

Red Forman: Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.