Kitty Forman: Why don’t you try some of that forgiveness that Jesus talked so much about so much?
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Eric: Yeah, I mean, when the empire killed Luke Skywalker’s aunt and uncle, did he just call them up?
The others: Ahh, nooo…
Eric: No. He hopped on the Millenium Falcon, and he paid a little visit to the Death Star.
Kitty Forman: Have you ever baked a pie before?
Jackie Burkhardt: No, I don’t really cook much. I kinda was just hoping to get by on my looks.
Kitty Forman: I really doubt that she’s just abandoning Stephen, I mean, she’s his mother.
Eric: Mom, her exact words were “I know I’m your mother but I’m abandoning you.”
Eric: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Red Forman: Son, you don’t have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you’re a dumbass.
Fez: These after-school specials are thrilling. Who knew that one beer could turn a cheerleader into a whore?