Donna Pinciotti: You have the van. We want to go home.
Michael Kelso: Na-ah! I can’t leave Annette. I love her.
Eric: No, you don’t.
Michael Kelso: I love parts of her.

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Jackie Burkhardt: Michael, I told you about Eric so you could help him, not make fun of him.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, but it’s hard to help someone and burn him at the same time.

Kitty Forman: What is wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head?
Kelso: Yes! And until now, everyone else had the good grace not to mention it!

Eric: Yeah, I mean, when the empire killed Luke Skywalker’s aunt and uncle, did he just call them up?
The others: Ahh, nooo…
Eric: No. He hopped on the Millenium Falcon, and he paid a little visit to the Death Star.

Kitty Forman: Have you ever baked a pie before?
Jackie Burkhardt: No, I don’t really cook much. I kinda was just hoping to get by on my looks.

Kitty Forman: I really doubt that she’s just abandoning Stephen, I mean, she’s his mother.
Eric: Mom, her exact words were “I know I’m your mother but I’m abandoning you.”