Donna Pinciotti: Jackie, I went on the pill.
Jackie Burkhardt: Oh, my God. You are going to be so popular.

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Michael Kelso: If you really do love her, there’s only one thing to do, man. You gotta dump her and live free.

Red Forman: Once again, an open bar spells disaster for the Foreman family.

Kelso: Hey, Eric, maybe she’s going to give you the big gift. You know, the BIG gift. You guys know what I’m talking about right?
Hyde: Yes, Kelso. We got it. Then, we got it.
Fez: I’m not even from here, and I got it.

Red Forman: You need to grow up and learn some responsibility.
Eric: I love you too, Dad.
Red Forman: What? Stop being weird.
Eric: Thanks.

Fez: Opportunity does not knock, then knock again, then leave a note saying “sorry I missed you”.