Red as Obi: A Jedi’s power lies within his own mi- are you even listening to me?
Eric as Luke: What? Yes. Um, you were saying, may the force be with me?
Red as Obi: No, I did not. Jedi knight. Jedi dumbass!

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Leo: I love it here. You can sing as loud as you want. That dude wails away on the organ. That dude up there tells stories. It’s almost a religious experience!

Eric: Kelso, I don’t know if you should come over to dinner tonight.
Michael Kelso: Look, I know you think it’s gonna be uncomfortable because I’m dating Laurie. But, look, Red loves Laurie, and Laurie loves me. Red has to like me. I mean, what kind of father doesn’t love the guy who’s nailing his daughter?

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Don't Lie To Me (2005)

Jackie Burkhardt: Michael, I told you about Eric so you could help him, not make fun of him.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, but it’s hard to help someone and burn him at the same time.

Kelso: Hi, I’d like an order of books, please.
Brooke: Could you be more specific?
Kelso: Could you be more beautiful?
Brooke: Could you be more lame?
Kelso: Yes.