Eric: You know, Hyde, at first I thought your father was a real dirtbag. But I’ve come to realize that there’s a fine line between dirt bag and Father Of The Year.

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Red Forman: Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.

Red Forman: So, this is how an engaged high school dumbass with no car, no job, and no money trims the hedges.
Steven Hyde: That was like, eight burns in one sentence.
Donna Pinciotti: An octo-burn. Let’s get outta here!

Kitty Forman: Sex, it’s not dirty.
Red Forman: It’s not clean either.

Eric: She was drunk, in the middle of the afternoon. I mean, it was like Sue Ellen on ‘Dallas’.

Red Forman: What are you going to put on your resume – dumbass?