Eric: You know, Hyde, at first I thought your father was a real dirtbag. But I’ve come to realize that there’s a fine line between dirt bag and Father Of The Year.

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Kelso: Hey, Eric, maybe she’s going to give you the big gift. You know, the BIG gift. You guys know what I’m talking about right?
Hyde: Yes, Kelso. We got it. Then, we got it.
Fez: I’m not even from here, and I got it.

Red Forman: You need to grow up and learn some responsibility.
Eric: I love you too, Dad.
Red Forman: What? Stop being weird.
Eric: Thanks.

Michael Kelso: If you really do love her, there’s only one thing to do, man. You gotta dump her and live free.

Red Forman: Dear Lord, would it kill you to give the Packers a winning season? Oh, and uh, watch over my loving family, blah blah blah…