Eric: You know, Hyde, at first I thought your father was a real dirtbag. But I’ve come to realize that there’s a fine line between dirt bag and Father Of The Year.

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Fez: What’s disco?
Steven Hyde: It’s from Hell. And, not the cool part of hell where all the murderers are either, but the lame-ass part where accountants are from.

Kitty Forman: Why don’t you try some of that forgiveness that Jesus talked so much about so much?

Eric: My head hurts.
Red Forman: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

Red Forman: I like the sound of a beer church.

Fez: This suit is for leisure. But many times I wear it to get down to business.