Red Forman: When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But if you mix them, they can turn you into a dumbass.

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More from That 70's Show

Red: I need you to re- sticker the clock radios. They’re on sale.
Eric: Yeah, I saw the flyer. I already took care of it.
Red: Really? Well, way to take initiative.
Eric: “Way to take initiative…”? What are you up to?
Red: Nothing. I just think you did a god job.
Eric: Okay. But I’m watching you.
Red: Stop being weird.

Frank: I did not lose a leg in Vietnam so I could serve hotdogs to teenagers.
Kelso: You got both your legs, Frank.
Frank: Like I said, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam!

Red as Obi: A Jedi’s power lies within his own mi- are you even listening to me?
Eric as Luke: What? Yes. Um, you were saying, may the force be with me?
Red as Obi: No, I did not. Jedi knight. Jedi dumbass!

Steven Hyde: What’s wrong with Mrs. Foreman’s parents?
Kitty Forman: Nothing. They’re very complicated people who can’t be summed up in a couple of words.
Eric: Grandma yells, Grandpa drinks.

Steven Hyde: Okay. All right. Do you remember that time when I was climbing your fence, and I hit my forehead on that tree branch, and I fell into your yard, and your dog Yogi came out of the house and bit me twice on the ass?
Michael Kelso: Yeah, you bled and you cried.
Steven Hyde: I bled. I didn’t cry.
Michael Kelso: Yeah, you did. You bled and you cried.
Steven Hyde: And you laughed, man. A lot. While I was bleeding… You see my point?
Michael Kelso: Yeah: it’s funny when friends get hurt.
Steven Hyde: Close enough.