Red: Nothing around this house is cheap.
Eric: Except for Laurie.
Laurie Forman: I am not cheap!
Eric: Free, whatever.

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More from That 70's Show

Eric: Yeah, I mean, when the empire killed Luke Skywalker’s aunt and uncle, did he just call them up?
The others: Ahh, nooo…
Eric: No. He hopped on the Millenium Falcon, and he paid a little visit to the Death Star.

Kitty Forman: Red’s mother is coming.
Midge Pinciotti: What’s that pet name she has for you?
Kitty Forman: Whore.

Eric: What happened between you two?
Fez: Suffice to say that it involved a crowded parking lot, a half off sale and a pair of pants that made my ass look like an oil painting.
Fenton: If you mean old and cracked, I agree.
Fez: I’ll see you in hell!
Fenton: I’ll be wearing your pants!

Eric: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Red Forman: Son, you don’t have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you’re a dumbass.

Thanksgiving (season 1, episode 9)

Fez: These after-school specials are thrilling. Who knew that one beer could turn a cheerleader into a whore?