Red Forman: Once again, an open bar spells disaster for the Foreman family.

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Donna Pinciotti: You have the van. We want to go home.
Michael Kelso: Na-ah! I can’t leave Annette. I love her.
Eric: No, you don’t.
Michael Kelso: I love parts of her.

Eric: You know, Hyde, at first I thought your father was a real dirtbag. But I’ve come to realize that there’s a fine line between dirt bag and Father Of The Year.

Donna Pinciotti: Why does your dad want to ruin my dad’s barbecue?
Eric: Well, my dad thinks that if your dad’s barbecue is better than his, the Russkies are gonna take over the planet.

Red Forman: Forman, party of two.
Restaurant Hostess: Okey dokey, that’ll be about two hours.
Red Forman: Here’s twenty bucks.
Restaurant Hostess: Okay we’ll have something in fifteen minutes.
Red Forman: You don’t want this place to burn down twice do you?
Restaurant Hostess: Okay we have something right now.
Red Forman: I thought so. Well, it looks like it’s our lucky night.

Red: Let me get this straight – Donna told you she wanted to get back together and you said no?
Eric: I said no.
Red: What the Hell is wrong with you?
Kitty Forman: Dumbass!