Red Forman: Once again, an open bar spells disaster for the Foreman family.

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Red Forman: What have I said about comparing your sister to the Devil?
Eric: That it’s offensive to the Devil?

Kitty Forman: I can’t believe that any of you can walk into a church without bursting into flames.

Michael Kelso: I miss Eric.
Jackie Burkhardt: Well, you still have me.
Michael Kelso: It’s not the same, Jackie. I can talk to Eric about things that I can’t talk about with you.
Jackie Burkhardt: Okay, well like what?
Michael Kelso: Well, for instance, the annoying things you do.
Jackie Burkhardt: Michael.
Michael Kelso: See, I can’t talk to you.

Donna Pinciotti: You have the van. We want to go home.
Michael Kelso: Na-ah! I can’t leave Annette. I love her.
Eric: No, you don’t.
Michael Kelso: I love parts of her.

Eric: You know, Hyde, at first I thought your father was a real dirtbag. But I’ve come to realize that there’s a fine line between dirt bag and Father Of The Year.