Kitty Forman: I can’t believe that any of you can walk into a church without bursting into flames.

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Jackie Burkhardt: Eric, no offense, I know she’s your sister, but Laurie is such a whore.
Eric: Jackie, not since the “Smokey and the Bandit” debate, are you and I so on the same page.

Steven Hyde: What’s wrong with Mrs. Foreman’s parents?
Kitty Forman: Nothing. They’re very complicated people who can’t be summed up in a couple of words.
Eric: Grandma yells, Grandpa drinks.

Kelso: Hey, Eric, maybe she’s going to give you the big gift. You know, the BIG gift. You guys know what I’m talking about right?
Hyde: Yes, Kelso. We got it. Then, we got it.
Fez: I’m not even from here, and I got it.

Red Forman: You need to grow up and learn some responsibility.
Eric: I love you too, Dad.
Red Forman: What? Stop being weird.
Eric: Thanks.

Michael Kelso: If you really do love her, there’s only one thing to do, man. You gotta dump her and live free.