Donna Pinciotti: I love you, Eric.
Eric: I love… cake.
Fez: Opportunity does not knock, then knock again, then leave a note saying “sorry I missed you”.
Red Forman: Dear Lord, would it kill you to give the Packers a winning season? Oh, and uh, watch over my loving family, blah blah blah…
Kitty Forman: Oh, Red, you do care.
Eric: Donna, it’s just that… if I say it, and then we break up, what would I tell myself?
Donna Pinciotti: You could tell yourself you still have cake, we both know how much it means to you.
Eric: OK, I deserve that.
Red Forman: We’re all gonna go to church and we’re gonna have a damn nice Sunday.
Fez: Wow, my first X-rated movie. I don’t know what’s going on, but that is the luckiest pizza boy ever.
Fez: What’s disco?
Steven Hyde: It’s from Hell. And, not the cool part of hell where all the murderers are either, but the lame-ass part where accountants are from.
Kitty Forman: Why don’t you try some of that forgiveness that Jesus talked so much about so much?
Eric: My head hurts.
Red Forman: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.
Red Forman: I’ve been working since I was sixteen. I fought two in wars. Hell, I’ve killed people. I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy it…
Fez: This suit is for leisure. But many times I wear it to get down to business.
Laurie Forman: Oh, for God’s sake! Eric saw you guys doing it!
Kitty Forman: Oh, honey. You saw your father and I having inter…
Laurie Forman: Oh, well, no wonder you have been acting so strange. Red, say something to the boy.
Red Forman: Oh! Ummm… It’s more fun than it looks.
Red Forman: What have I said about comparing your sister to the Devil?
Eric: That it’s offensive to the Devil?
Red Forman: I like the sound of a beer church.