Homer: Well, honey, what do you like? Tuba-ma-ba? Oba-ma-bo? That one? Saxa-ma-phone?

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Homer: It’s like a friggin country bear jambaroo around here.

Principal Skinner: (over the intercom) Attention please, I need a volunteer for a thankless chore. Shall I assume the only hand in the air is Lisa Simpson? Thank you, Lisa.

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.

Kent Brockman: Could this record-breaking heat wave be the result of the dreaded “Greenhouse Effect”? Well, if 70-degree days in the middle of winter are the “price” of car pollution, you’ll forgive me if I keep my old Pontiac.

Flanders: I’ve done everything the bible says. Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff.